So as I sit in a Cambodian restaurant trying to absorb the mixture of madness and horror that was a trip through Phnom Penh to visit the killing fields, now seems as good a time as any to take a mental trip back to the island paradise that was Koh Chang.
It didnt start off as paradise though. If there is one common factor I can link between all the disparate locations I have been so far, it is that everywhere seems scary, overwhelming and significantly disconnected from any kind of relatable reality on the first night of arrival. It should of course be noted that the only thing easier than feeling out of your depth here is finding a way to suddenly discover comfort and feel once more at home in an entirely foreign climate when you meet people in a good place.
That doesn't stop the initial shakes though.
Although I would feel this even more through ensuing experiences, when riding in the back of pick up truck come taxi along the steep, winding, jungle surrounded roads of Koh Chang island, I had never felt further from home in my life.
I could tell I was not entirely alone given the abundance of intrepid westerners riding their scooters around our driving position but it seemed without question that in this location, my previous notion of civilastion existed in the islands pockets, not in its body.
As the rest of my fellow passengers were dropped off at various comfortable looking deposits of touristic frivolity, I found myself being driven further and further towards the end of the island. Eventually I was dropped off at the hostel I had booked my nights in. Built from the side of the road in to recently chopped down portion of jungle, it was still under construction but the owner was an effusive Brit whose laid back attitude couldn't help but make me think that their must be ease to be found somewhere.
See the thing is, it wasn't a bad place. It was a remote place. There was a small fishing village nearby which was in the process of gentrification through the medium of souveneir shops and seafood restaurants serving to placate the russian tourist masses staying in stand alone resorts the dotted the local landscape. The nearest town with any sense of life was a long, dark walk away.
I resolved to bunker down for the night. My bed was clean, I had secure storage for my belongings and I had a wifi connection (hashtag first world concerns y'all). I hoped that if I set off in the morning to the next town, I would find salvation down the road for my almost week in this place.
I was right.
The following morning I awoke to a message from my Canadian cohort from the previous days bus journey. He was staying in the Siam Huts. Located in the ironically titled Lonely Beach area of the island, they were a selection of beach huts with a pool and a bar. They were basic, they were shabby, the bed linen looked older than me, there was no hot water, there was no air conditioning beyond a stuttering fan loosely connected to the wall and there were holes in the ceiling. It was heaven.
Location, location, location. I was connected once more. Suddenly the beach that drew people in was meters from my doorstep. Through establishing a location, knowing that people would gather because of an unbeatable view of the sunset, they had developed their own form of utility, catering less for what people had left behind and more what they had come for. The food was delicious, the beer was abundant and both were cheap enough to make Ebenezer Scrooge feel like he was getting a bargain.
It was a far cry from anywhere I could have imagined myself staying when I first set out. Mere weeks before I had been sitting on my bed in West Hampsted, decrying the lifestyle I may be setting off for with its lack of western comforts and yet from the moment I stepped in to my shack, I felt entirely like I was where I was meant to be.
The night before I had felt as helpless and lost and the gigantic, unidentifiable insect I had found rolling around on its back in the hostels bathroom sink but now I was on track. The towns ameninties were a short stroll away and I was back in control.
The ingredients were all set in the bowl for a good time. Now it was up to me to mix them together!
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